The principles of snark

To equip you better for judging on the snarkiness of the extracts here, we've given you Denby's nine principles of snark.

1. The "Whatever" principle. Attack without reason.
2. The White Man's Last Stand Principle. Appeal to common, hackneyed prejudices, the more common and hackneyed the better. But disguise the appeal a little, if you can.
3. The Pawnshop Principle. Reach into the rotting heap of media referents for old jokes, old insults, and give them a twist.
4. The Throw-Some-Mud Principle. Assume anything negative said about someone with power is true - or at least usable.
5. The Reckless Disregard Principle. Ignore the routine responsibilities of journalism. The more flagrantly you ignore them, the better.
6. The Hobbyhorse Principle. Reduce all human complexity to caricature. Then repeat the caricature.
7. The You-Suck Principle. Grab hold of celebrities in an attitude of adoration and loathing; first adoration, then loathing.
8. The Pacemaker Principle. Attack the old. Your editors and Web publishers want young demographics, so they won't mind.
9. The Gastronomic Principle. Attack expensive, underperforming restaurants. (This is the only circumstance where Denby believes snark is justified.)

Happy judging.