Snarky Columnists (3) - Marina Hyde

Marina Hyde of The Guardian has a "peek at the diary of Peter Andre":

"Seeing the pictures of Katie canoodling with that cage fighter in front of our kids was the worst day of my life. "It was the worst day of my life," I told whichever magazine whose turn it was to get that hour's World!!! Exclusive!!!

I know people may be bored of our divorce now. Even I'm bored of our divorce now. "Even I'm bored of our divorce now," I told the BBC, breaking my silence again. "I think people want to get back to my music." The reporter said it was lovely I hadn't lost my sense of humour.

I called another mag. "Close pals say I haven't lost my sense of humour," I exclusively revealed.

Of course, my number one priority is that the kids aren't affected by all this. They need continuity. They need things to stay as normal as possible – and that means constant TV camera presence, playing their winsome part in paparazzi shots, and their parents discussing every aspect of their lives across a range of content delivery platforms. I'm not pitching for Celebrity Dad Of The Year – although it would be an honour to be nominated in the same category as David and Brad – but I think I've managed that."

Snarky, or fair enough?